“go away,” was what he said. he said it to his shadow. "it's nothing personal," he said, "i just want my freedom back.”
shadow was hurt by all that. but he wasn’t surprised. he thought of the scene in peter pan where peter tries to put his shadow back on with a bar of soap. that was a bad look for both of them and shadow knew it. he knew he didn't want that kind of thing happening to him. but it did make him wonder what he was supposed to want.
for a little while he stood there on the sidewalk like someone had drawn him on with chalk. he felt like he could be a crime scene if he tried hard enough (he couldn't). little by little shadow began to stir and, stretching his arms and legs in inches at a time, remembered what it felt like to move himself that way. he remembered what it felt like to animate himself. on the lateral plane he jumped for joy: he moved north and then south across the face of this earth. shadow slid across concrete and then he slid across grass. then he slid across concrete again to get to the other side. he slipped underneath a doorway and ordered a martini, and then he slipped right back out without paying his tab. he'd just do it this one time. no one had to know.
shadow went downtown where he tried to get on the train. it turned out he couldn't do it—he had to mind the gap. outside he expanded onto the side of a great building instead, full of apartment units whose windows he smushed his face flat against. shadow looked around at what all was in there: cups of pencils, cups of water, cups of ink-black coffee and blood red wine. there were dog beds and there were carpet runners. there was a television that had bunny ears on it. someone had left a plate of cinnamon rolls on a dining room table, and a little boy just sat there looking at the plate. shadow admired his discipline as he fell back to the ground.
"kid's got chutzpah," was what he wanted to say. in this story shadow was voiceless.
when night overtook the world shadow breathed it in deeply. he went down an alley which was where he disappeared. he had no stomach, so he didn't worry about eating anything, but he was getting tired and he would have to sleep soon. in the darkness he lost all form and became a part of his surroundings. he belonged to the night: he was silent, he was still. very soon, shadow knew, the morning would arrive, and when that happened he would do as he pleased again. he nodded off and he wondered what it was that he would do. he wondered what he would please, and he who he was going to tell.